My Red Tears
by Inevitable Darkness
Summary: Sometimes it seems like the rain will never stop, like the fog is getting thicker before you and you'll never find your way out until that helping hand comes through. JD/Cox


Disclaimer: Not mine, however, I am borrowing them to play in my demented games. :3

Enjoy.

**My Red Tears**

Chapter One

The harsh wind blew wetly as the dark and dismal sky threw buckets of cold rain onto a lone blue scrub clad figure ontop of the hospital rooftop. It was such an appropriate morning, too. JD had an emergency paged to him already at seven this morning, just scratching by an hour of clocking in.

It was a car accident. A car accident that brought in a pregnant mother with a young eight year old daughter and another family consisting of a father, mother and a young son of their own in critical conditions.

JD's pale blue eyes stared of at the distance, not particularly looking at anything specific.

_What happened... When did this all change? _Perry's image just keep floating in front of him, and JD could feel his face heat up into a lovely blush on his cold, pale face. _Here I have children dying, and then I go and think about how I feel about Dr. Cox. I'm such an asshole..._ But the worst part of thinking of Doctor Cox was the monsterous clench grasping his heart and chest, knotting his stomach into two as he willed the tears in his eyes to disappear.

_Why did my feelings change?_He knew better than to pursue what his heart felt. Why would Doctor Cox, the manliest man of them all who was straighter than an arrow, sway towards him? Especially when he reminded JD daily that he didn't care what JD thought, felt, and anything that had to do with the younger doctor in any way.

_God... Why do I have to be so stupid?_ JD clenched his eyes together tightly and his hot tears warmed his face in small trails. _I fuck everything up._

A sharp whistle cut through the air followed by an angry sounding _'Newbie!'_JD's eyes snapped open not even a second later as shock was clearly evident on his face. _He followed me... Great._

"Comin', Doctor Cox," he replied softly without turning around. Perry walked up beside JD and snarled down at him, "Com' on, Sheila. You're _supposed_ to be a doctor at the moment. Though, I must admit that you're doing one helluva job at keeping that facade up pretty well."

"Yep. What can I say? I love playing dress up like the little girl that I am." JD responded with a sad smile, though in his mind, it came out overly cheerful and normal.

Perry looked down at him with slight caution. This was odd... This wasn't Newbie to him. Especially when the said young doctor slowly got up and left without waiting for him. They just started and Doctor Cox didn't even really cut him down yet.

JD's black hair dripped mercilessly in his face. It felt all slick and gooey and he couldn't bring himself to care at the moment as he talked to his patient.

"You looked like a drowned rat," Mrs. Kailie replied with a quirked eyebrow. The elderly patient stared at him like a silly little child. Perry just stood behind him, saying nothing as he studied JD constantly reminding himself that he really didn't care. He didn't want to. He hadn't heard about JD having a girlfriend lately... so they obviously didn't break up. And Newbie wasn't the type to not let anyone know about the newest person that snatched his heart up. This is different, and he already knew that he didn't like this... whatever it was that was going on with the younger doctor already.

"Yeah, I know. I must admit, though, it does refreshen you up a bit," JD laughed quietly.

"Mm," Mrs. Kailie gave a slight nod.

"Well, your bronchictious is starting to clear up, at least. If you need anything, make sure you have someone come get me, okay? We'll play a game of checkers later today."

"Sounds like a date, dear."

And that was that. JD gave a smile and a slight nod of himself and excused himself with a bid to a good day to his patient. She was so nice to him lately, and JD couldn't figure out why.

Perry watched Newbie round around the corner, obviously not paying attention to where he was going as his nose was burried into the chart of his next patient. The next thing he knew was the great slam sound that ripped through the air and the high pitched yelp that followed.

"Bambi! Watch where you're going!"

Out of nowhere, the janitor came in for the killing of the prey, "Scooter, did you actually just walk into a door?" For a moment, JD thought that the janitor actually looked concerned, but that was until the others face cracked into an evil grin with a cackle that followed.

"You're pathetic," that was a quick change... _Man, he's starting to remind me of Doctor __Cox... That's just wrong._

JD stood up, slightly unsteady as he consciously wiped his nose, checking for blood. This day was just getting better and better. Vaguely, he saw Carla tapping her foot impatiently. This was wonderful, now. He obviously upset her. But he knew that that would happen. He's been around her for much too long. All of them, really.

_Every time I get close to somebody, I break something._The thought of Turk standing in the hall talking to his wife as he looked up and saw JD watching quietly crossed JD's mind. The sheer look of annoyance crossed Turk's face when he saw JD lately. _I broke the connection we had. And I destroyed the gruding respect that I know Doctor Cox doesn't want to feel... I've been bothering him too much lately. But I've been staying away. I don't understand._His mind drifted to Elliot, then. And then realised that they haven't even been close to some degree at all for almost a month. The interference with Keith had caused that. He was just trying to protect what was his. He didn't want to loose Elliot's friendship from all of the neglect. Too late. For all of it. There was some way or another where he slowly severed the ties somehow. And he always did that. It just depended on the timing.

JD saw himself, then. He took a chunk out of him, somehow, like he was a puzzle and tossed it. Then he was grabbing a brick from out of nowhere and put it into the massive wall infront of him and made sure to place it very carefully and securely. He started to reach over the wall, looking to see what was at the other side. But it was too high and when he started to figure out a way to get over, a sharp whistle broke him from his safe spot, again.

"Shanna, we need to talk."

_Damn it..._


End file.
